Years ago when a friend told me I should study Psychology I said: who, me? No way! I’m not good at understanding people. I’m too direct and I always tell people the truth ending up by making them uncomfortable. At that particular time I was having a bunch of friends all into philosophy. I loved listening to them but I had a big problem! I couldn’t understand how someone could be satisfied with just talking about big principles and not doing anything. No offense, but I think there are plenty of people who need help and who need someone to listen to them. Just learning about different philosophies and theories is not going to help them.

So, I said “no” to studying philosophy but also “no” to psychology. I still wasn’t aware that all my friends were constantly coming and telling me all their problems looking for answers!

And guess what? I said yes to Political Sciences! Why? Because I was good at speaking and making a point. Well, don’t be mean… I was still pretty young!

Three years went on… I was taking all my exams, doing all the projects and assignments and still didn’t understand a thing! Yes, I learnt about communication and yes, I learnt a lot of history, law and so on. But, what was I going to do after my final exam?  Big, big question mark!

In the curriculum they said I could go with an analyst position. Hmm, not happy with analyzing because for me it meant I was just an observer and not a doer.

It took me a while to see that and I thought maybe some of you still don’t know what are their qualities and strengths. My advice would be first see if you’re an observer or a doer. See if you like to study, analyze, and research or you’re always on the move and taking actions. After that you’ll get more clarity about what you like to do and your life purpose. To your success!

It’s been almost one month since I relocated in Redmond, Washington. Now I also have a home office, more space, everything is new but still…something was bothering me.

All the packing/unpacking triggered so many emotions and so many memories. Times from my twenties, always looking for cheap places to live and never finding them. Searching for a good roommate and ending up by taking care of them, cooking, washing, like a big sister or mother. Frustration that I couldn’t afford to buy a place of my own. So many memories!

Packing old gifts, photos, books, a certain perfume, a certain sensation…All is coming back, invading your soul.

I was the one to decide it was time to move. I wasn’t happy with the small apartment I was living in. It was old, moldy and so small. I found a wonderful place, newly remodeled with everything I was dreaming of and for a very reasonable price.

Everything was good, but still…the emotions and memories were overwhelming. I just realized that maybe one of the reasons I don’t like to keep things, letters, gifts, photos could be that I don’t like the sadness and grief they could bring sometimes.

I’m all crazy about organizing everything, not keeping anything I don’t need. I know, I’m a Virgo and I’m supposed to be like that. But when I was younger and didn’t know to deal with my emotions this was a really easy way for keeping myself on the track.

So, to be able to fully enjoy my new place I had to make peace with my soul. I had to deal with the emotions that were still unresolved from many years ago. I had to let go of the grief that I didn’t do this or that. I had to understand again why I decided to live in US and be so far away from Romania.

I had to trust myself I’m going to be ok even in another place. I was letting go of the first place I lived in when I moved in Seattle. It seemed familiar but it was time to move forward.

If it happens to you to feel that you should be happy but you’re not…if you’re looking for that joy and don’t understand what happened with it…maybe it’s time to open up the closets of your soul and do a spring cleaning. It’s like when you’re looking at clothes that don’t fit you anymore but you love them and it’s so hard to give them away.

Wipe out the guilt, blame, grief, frustration or fear and bring in the joy, happiness, clarity and courage. Blend them with your experience and skills so you’ll have the perfect recipe for letting go of the past and moving on with your life.

Have a wonderful spring, full of joy and accomplishments! And if you still feel some grief, count me in to be there for you and help you through this process

In the last 3-4 days I kept hearing people complaining about not having enough time. Not enough time for themselves, for their goals or for their families.

In the beginning, I said that’s just an excuse for not facing your fears or lack of commitment. Then, I started observing everything around me and my life.

The best example that I have right now is my situation. I was looking to adopt/buy a dog for a long time. Every time I was calling a shelter I was the second or third caller and I never got the dog I wanted.

Two weeks ago I saw an add on Craigslist and called the owner. I had to drive in the middle of the night and through a terrible storm about two hours and got the puppy.

Let me tell you that everybody around me was against getting the dog. My parents told me I have to have a baby not a dog. My friends reminded me I am all the time on the road and busy working. Nothing worked. I knew what I wanted and…I’m the go-getter!

Last night I’ve got a call from a friend. She was so confused and scared, asking question after question. She didn’t really wanted answers. She just wanted someone to decide for herself.

Let me say, once again, I’m all the way for supporting you! But I’m not going to say: do that or choose this. It’s like you’d make a pact with you know who….Why giving up your FREE WILL so easily??

Sometimes it can be scary to face a situation when you’re forced to take some decisions. It could ask for some risks, more work, responsibilities, uncertainties or even new beginnings. You could experience fear of the unknown or fear that you’re not going to be able to deal with the situation.

Are you afraid of the truth? I guess it seems easier to let someone decide for yourself so later on you could say: wasn’t my decision. I should have done better. Don’t kid yourself. It’s good to be childish from time to time but that’s not the right time.

No therapist or life coach will tell you what to do. We could help you gain more clarity and let go of the fears or the past. We can point your limitations. We can listen to you and help you release the anger or frustration. We won’t judge and won’t criticize.

No one will guarantee you what’s the right answer or the best decision. Should I turn right or left? Like when you’re driving, look at your right, look at your left. Take another look and then move forward.

Yes, it could happen to take the wrong decision. It happened to all of us at least once. I know this is not comforting and doesn’t make your fears go away. The most important thing is to pay attention to everything around you. Look at the situation like you weren’t involved. It will be easy to treat it neutral and see the right answer. You can also make lists with pros and cons.

Whatever your decision will be, I highly advise you to choose based on your own intuition, your own dreams and desires. It is about life and your own happiness. Don’t spoil the most precious gift.

What if you already made a mistake?

Years ago, when I relocated to USA, I thought it was the worst decision I could take. I hated it. I hated that I gave up my consulting company back home. I hated the constant rain. I missed my parents. I missed the food. I was the only one wearing heels when everybody else was wearing sneakers. I’m human but felt like I was from another planet!

As long as I felt sorry for myself, kept complaining and looked only at the negative parts nothing changed. I was feeling depressed.

Everything changed when I began to do things for changing the situation. I started volunteering in senior retirement centers. I went again to school. I made new friends. I learnt to cook Indian food.

Pretty soon I felt like I belonged here. I felt I was part of the community. People were calling me, inviting me to their celebrations or parties. I was receiving thank you cards and flowers from the seniors. It felt wonderful.

I was happy and I couldn’t understand why? I wasn’t making any money yet. I was just a volunteer. Yes, but later, I got the best business recommendations from these people. After years, these people are still calling me to say Happy Birthday!

If you think you made a mistake or took a bad decision there’s no time for self-pity. First, you have to accept the mistake and let go of the regrets, blame etc. Then, like I usually say, regroup. Clear your mind. Clear your desk or do whatever helps you clear your thoughts. Have some lemonade. Buy a nice book. Go to a concert.

Second, write the consequences/effects of your decision. Take each one and see which one has the biggest impact on your life/career/future.

Third, look for solutions that will help you minimize the effects. I’d say that most of the times, the smallest issues will have the biggest impact. It’s funny and not logical but this is what I find every day in my practice.

Most important thing, don’t let yourself discouraged if you feel there’s no way out. Dead ends may look like this today but tomorrow might look different. Every time you’re too emotional you’ll bring in mental confusion and doubts. If you think and then come back to the same thought, you’ll end up making the situation to seem even worse.

No matter what bad decision you took, there will always be someone or something that could help you. You just have to find your courage and take a good look around you.

Wishing you only good decisions in 2010,

Iuliana

After I’ve read a friend’s blog about the things he did during 2009, I wrote a list for myself.

First, let me say I decided I won’t count the things I did in 2009. I’m over counting everything. It’s more important that I had a lot of fun and really felt fulfilled during 2009. I’d like to thank to all my friends, family and clients that have been an inspiration and support for me.

Here’s my list of things that I did and ENJOYED in 2009 (there is no chronological or importance order):

Redesigned my website

Joined the gym

Had two vacations: one week in Cancun, one week in Greece
Restarted writing a blog

Seen the Van Gogh Exhibition in Vancouver

Stopped being too critical and perfectionist

Went to a spa once a month

Visited the old man I used to work for as a volunteer

Almost cried when received the best ever compliment from an 84 old woman

Had clams for the first time in my life

Continued taking classes for receiving my license as a Naturopathy Doctor

Watched one of the best world’s sunsets in Santorini – Greece

Helped a man regain his credibility in society

Did healing work on a woman who just had open heart surgery and was at IC

Rediscovered how much I loved a cup of coffee or tea in the morning with just my thoughts and my netbook

Played with a poodle in the snow

Learnt to play poker

Reconnected with my best friend since childhood which I’m going to meet in February in Milan

Bought my two weeks vacation for 2010 in Puerto Vallarta

Drank a Mimosa on Playa de las Mujeres

Bought another car

Participated as an intern in 4 healing classes

Signed up for 2 courses that I’ll take in January (details later)

Had candle light dinner with piano music in a boutique hotel in Vancouver

Signed up for Seattle Symphony membership

Bought a domain (www.shiningbiz.com) so dear to me because years ago I posted my first article there

Became an affiliate with Aromandina (aromatherapy solutions)

Discovered that if you travel enough there will be no more jetlag

Did healing work on my grandmother and now the doctors gave up the idea that she had cancer

Made time to meet with friends during the weekends for dinner and movies

Changed my haircut

Granted my mother’s birthday wish for a diamonds necklace

Bought myself flowers every time I went shopping for groceries

Looked over the ocean from Tulum on my 34th birthday

Took a ride on a donkey in Santorini

Sailed on Puget Sound

Did yoga twice a week

Learnt a traditional Greek dance from a restaurant’s cook

Clapped my hands in front of Chichen Itza and listened to the wonderful and strange sounds

Been cooking on Christmas Eve like the in the old times back in Romania

Brought home the Harmony God statuette from Mexico

Had nice evenings with Audrey Hepburn movies and a glass of ice wine

Seen a lot of smiles on my clients’ faces

Stopped saying yes when, in fact, I want to say no

Accepted a great business partnership

Had as many dinners as I could with my parents

Managed to keep an affordable low price for my Romanian clients

Started doing free webinars

Had for the first time a Halloween costume

Helped two babies to be born

Took riding lessons

Lost 8 pounds

Saw flamingos for the first time

Had a lot of fun in a photo studio for my website pictures

Almost done with my first book

Worked on designing a new course that I plan to teach together with a friend

I will stop here since I’m sure I could go on like this all night. What matters is that I had a great year, met wonderful people and seen wonderful things!

Couple of days ago, after a session with a client, I started asking myself why is it that people are so eager to find instant solutions? When did we get so busy that we want just miracles? No more time for putting down on paper our ideas? Not planning? Not taking a second look at your plan with an objective eye so you can be sure you didn’t skip anything important? And when did we get so tired we’d like others to make everything happen for us?

I don’t have anything against finding a temporary solution sometimes, but…instant solutions?

I know Law of Attraction works! But you can’t just wish a bunch of things and do nothing for getting them. Putting pictures on your fridge with the things you’d like is good! Remember, you still have to plan and act on achieving those things. I’m not saying you have to work hard from morning till night. No! I’m saying if you have a plan and act on it, you’ll work less, efficient and see your dreams/goals come true.

I know a lot of coaches talked on the Goals theme but I’m sure we can always refresh some of the things we’ve heard during the years.

So, for next year: PLAN, ORGANIZE, ACT and you will see RESULTS.

Remember to keep everything simple and clear.

If you didn’t decide on your goals for 2010 this would be a good time to start. Pick between 3 to 5 main goals. Try and write them so you can better understand what you really want to achieve.

This will help you stay focused. After you already got started, review your plan from time to time so you’ll be sure it’s still viable.

If you feel you need help along the way, find someone but don’t let the other person do everything for you.

It’s not a competition so don’t be too self-critical if sometimes things are not going exactly like you planned.

When you feel that you’re losing commitment or you’re stuck, take a break.

Go out. Do something that you enjoy and then take a second look at your plans and actions. There aren’t so many things that could block you. It could be that your actions are not connected to your life purpose. It could be that you have some specific fears.

It will be really easy to find out what’s blocking you if you look for two types of issues: internal (as in your own) or external (since we are all connected with each other and affected by everything around us).

If you feel that you still need some help, let’s start together by releasing all the frustrations that you encountered during 2009. From there, you’ll be on fresh ground, using your full potential and staying focused and committed.

My Christmas gift to you is our new program: “Release, Regroup, Redesign for 2010, Rejoice!”

For more details, visit: www.designingabetterlife.com

May all your dreams or goals come true during 2010!

Last time I was talking about allergies and healing herbs. Today, I decided to stay on the same page to talk about asthma and things that you could use to feel better.

Asthma is a combination of many factors, including an immunological reaction and overstimulation of the parasympathetic nerves to the lungs, constricting the bronchial tubes.

Parasympathetic nerves originate in the hypothalamus, which is directly under the control of higher emotional centers. Emotions are playing an important role in the asthma attacks.

The emotion acts like a trigger. It activates the hypothalamus which is sending stimuli down the parasympathetic nerves and here you go, you’re already having an asthma attack. You have an emotion, you’re pushing the button on the hypothalamus. Don’t push it too hard!

Easiest cure would be to control your emotions and you will never have another asthma attack. Not so easy to do for some of us, right?

Then, let’s see what else you can do about these attacks.

One of the first things I would recommend would be: Chyavanprash.

This is an Ayurvedic combination made of: cane sugar, amalaki, honey, ghee, bilva, haritaki, gokshura, pippali, ashwagandha, shatavari, guduchi, musta, punarnava, cardamom, cinnamon, bamboo, brhati, bhumyamalaki, sati, patra, vasaka, nagakesara.

It is an excellent rejuvenative for both mind and body, strengthens the immunity, stimulates metabolism, works against effects of a stressful lifestyle but most of all has a special affinity for the lungs. It is used for conditions like: colds, flu, asthma, allergies, chest congestion and coughs.

Chyavanprash balances all three doshas: Vata, Pita, Kapha. You can take 1 teaspoon once or twice daily or as directed by your health practitioner. You can buy it in many natural or Indian stores or even online. I would recommend to read the label to be sure it doesn’t have any other things (like preservatives) added to the combination because some of the brands do that.

It looks and tastes like a fruit jam so don’t worry it won’t be something bad to taste.

As I was explaining in my allergies article:

Bamboo has anti-inflammatory properties.
Cinnamon has antibacterial and antiseptic properties. It helps with breathing difficulties.
Cardamom reduces mucus.
Pippali works on strengthening the immune system and has analgesic and expectorant properties.

Another easy thing that you could try is to mix fresh ginger juice with water and cane sugar. You boiled it until you obtain a syrup and add saffron, cardamom, nutmeg and cloves. The mixture is good for fever, colds, coughs, asthma but also for indigestion, colic, spasms and stomach pains.

Other healing herbs and spices that you could use in respiratory conditions are:

Indian Nightshade for: asthma, dry and spasmodic cough and chest pain.

Turmeric for: chronic bronchial asthma. Do not use if pregnant, have excess Pitta or hepatitis.

Black pepper for: asthma and sinuses congestion. It acts as a stimulant, expectorant and carminative. Use it in a milk decoction.

Malabar Nut for: asthma, bronchitis, bronchial asthma, cough, voice, TB and flu.

As a general guideline, you can use two types of herbs: herbs with a drying effect – ginger, calamus, cardamom, cinnamon, cloves, dry ginger, pippali, sage and herbs with a moisturizing effect – licorice, comfrey root, eucalyptus, thyme and wild cherry.

Don’t forget about fresh lemon juice that provides you with high doses of vitamin C and also garlic or onion juice (I know, not the best juice in the world but you can give it a try and you’ll feel much better).

Are you still struggling with confusion sadness, fears or limitations? Are you're still looking to regain your self-confidence and focus? We designed a program only for these kind of issues.

In our work we often find that deep seated emotions, beliefs, and thought patterns from different experiences (we or other people dear to us have had), can affect us. Sometimes we are aware of it, sometimes we are not. When we cannot detach ourselves from what is affecting us, it may be because other layers are covering those memories. In time it is more difficult to see the root causes. However, it becomes easier to pinpoint and separate some of the influences and their effects when we are neutral.

The program will help you change your state while strengthening you to be able to freely express your abilities in life, be integrated, have clarity and joy.

Schedule:

- Wednesday Oct. 7th from 5PM to 7PM (PDT) - Part 1

- Wednesday Oct. 14th from 5PM to 7PM (PDT) - Part 2

- Wednesday Oct. 21st from 5PM to 7PM (PDT) - Part 3

There will be 6 hours of work divided in 3 webinars.

Regular price is $285.

Promotional price: $96. For a limited time we are offering a very low price to support more people who had difficulties for a long time or just recently.

Registration Dead Line: Noon Wednesday October 7th

Follow the link below to register:

www.wholeharmony.net/I_am_in_Charge.

We are looking forward to working with you,

Doina Iuga and Iuliana Lixandru

Yesterday I came back from Mexico. Had a nice vacation but couldn’t stop to think about what I’ve seen during my trip.
In every airport, you can hear sneezing. People are complaining of red eyes and runny noses, itching and many others.
I know, fall is coming and airports are not the best environment. It’s supposed to be like this…No, it doesn’t have to be like this. None of us has to suffer.

If you don’t have any allergies, you still have at least one friend that is struggling with this problem.
Many years ago I was having some allergy problems. I started looking into a remedy and some of them worked really good.

For me, one of the best was Sitopaladi Churna – a traditional ayurvedic herbs mixture. The combination works for all three doshas: Vata, Pitta and Kapha.
It is recommended for: colds, flu, fever, congestion and bronchial conditions. It’s working really fast and acting like an anti-allergic. You can also use it for strengthening the body and for coughing conditions (dry or not).

What does it contain? It’s a combination between: Bambusa Arundinacea (sort of a bamboo), Cinnamonum Zeylanicum (cinnamon), Elettaria Cardamomum (cardamom), Piper Longum (pippali) and Sugar candy.

Bambusa Arundinacea has anti-inflammatory properties.
Cinnamon has antibacterial and antiseptic properties. It helps with breathing difficulties.
Cardamon reduces mucus and helps in asthma cases.
Piper longum works on strengthening the immune system and has analgesic and expectorant properties.

In Ayurveda is one of the best supportive in allergic and viral respiratory infections.

You can find it in Indian stores or even online. I wouldn’t recommend you to make the mixture yourself because you might not add the right quantities. You might make it too spicy or too sweet.

It can be taken twice per day – 2 teaspoonfuls, before the meals, usually with warm water or honey.

And of course, you should check with your physician before starting taking it.

Wishing you a good breathing and a wonderful week:)

Iuliana